The Truth in Marriage

In the sixth chapter of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul speaks of the spiritual armor of the believer. He begins with, “Having girded your loins with truth” (Eph. 6:14). The loins refer to the seat of our emotions and is one of the most vulnerable areas that the enemy attacks. Therefore, Paul identifies the truth of God’s Word as the protection for our emotions.

What happens in marriage when we do not know God’s truth about ourselves, our spouse, and about His plan and purpose for husbands and wives? What happens when we bring illusions and fantasies into our relationships—ideals and dreams from fairy tales, books, movies, and selfish wants and desires? We leave ourselves open to disappointment, disillusionment, and the emotional turmoil of not being girded with truth.

Let’s look at two aspects of “the truth in marriage.” The first is trading our illusions for the truth about our spouse. Through illusion, we do not truly know our spouse. We only know our image of what we want them to be, not who they truly are. It is difficult to enter the oneness that God desires for marriage when we do not know each other. In fact, many marriages begin falling apart as fantasies and illusions are replaced by disillusionment.

Disillusionment is the opportunity to lay aside falsehood and find the truth. Through the commitment of love we can seek God to actually know our partner in marriage. God’s love is the lens to see truth. And faithfulness to this process will help us uncover the treasure and potential that God has placed in our spouse. This will give our spouse the biggest relational gift—to be truly seen, known, and loved. Throughout this process, each spouse humbles their own heart to learn how to love in the way that God loves them. One of the prayers a husband and wife can make is, “Lord, show me who my spouse is to You. Show me who they truly are as your beloved son or daughter.”

A second aspect of “truth in marriage” relates to God’s word. God gives us commands (not suggestions) to follow in our relationships. He tells us we are loved, and that we are to love each other with His self-giving love. He tells the price Jesus paid for our forgiveness and that we are to also forgive each other from the heart. He tells us to watch over our hearts and to be careful to speak to one another His truth with His love.

When we arm ourselves with God’s truth about our spouse and with His truth about relationships, we can withstand the constant battle against our emotions—the battle that seeks to undermine our marriage. But more than that, we can grow in our oneness together and in our oneness with the Lord. And when others see the blessing that rests on you throughout the ups and downs of life, you can point them to the Lord Jesus, who is the way, the truth, and the life that we live.

For more about the topic of illusion versus truth, see God’s Timeless Principles for Every Christian Marriage.